Today's horoscope
cynical✦︎star signs
Horoscope of the week
Horoscopes for people who suspect the universe is not paying attention. Exactly as accurate as the other kind, and considerably ruder.
Pick your poison
Twelve signs. No survivors.
Shop, soon
The worst thing we said about your sign, on a mug.
Tees and cards too. Opening once there are enough of you to insult.
This week in the heavens
The planets have notes.
The list